I got tired of re-reading about how depressing my life is every time I check my own page, so here's a replacement of equal or lesser value.

001. Real name? Jimmy
002. Nickname(s)? Jimmithy, Jimmers, Jimslishflos... you know what? I think everyone I know has their own nickname for me, so this is enough. XD
003. Zodiac sign? Aries
004. Male or female? Male
005. Elementary School? Somewhere in NY that no one on here would know.
006. Middle School? Same dealeo
007. High School? Done thanks
008. Hair color? Dirty blonde. Yes I refuse to believe that it's totally brown yet.
009. Long or short? Not as long as I want, too long for dearest mother.
010. Loud or Quiet? Quiet. Unless I'm online, or sometimes around my louder friends. Sometimes.
011. Sweats or Jeans? Jeans
012. Phone or Camera? Neither... both of them allow pictures on the move.
013. Health freak? Of course. Now what did I do with my soda.....
014. Drink or Smoke? Not a chance.
015. Do you have a crush on someone? Those be dangerous waters, arrrrrr. <- I quite agree, Rin. Anyways... it's rather much more than a crush.
016. Eat or Drink? Chocolate milk plicks.
017. Piercings? No thanks.
018. Tattoos? I'd sooner take the piercing...


HAVE YOU EVER?
019. Been in an airplane? Yep
020. Been in a car accident? Nothing serious.
021. Been in a fist fight? *punches Brianna* What, me?

FIRSTS:
022. First piercing? Nada
023. First best friend? I believe that would be either Sean Powderlly, Tyler Murray, or Kasey Ellers... I forget who was first, honestly, but they were all around the same time.
025. First award? Uh... I think when I was like in my teens and I got 3rd place in a coloring contest. XDD
026. First crush? Kerry Shea, or Kirsten Donovan. Oh, childhood, where art thou?
.....I boiled question 27 in a vat of steaming chocolate. Please proceed.
028. First big vacation? Disney World. Don't remember when, but that was it.

LASTS:
029. Last person you talked to? Uh... In person, mom. Otherwise... some Brazilian on Tibia who could barely understand me and was threatening me for killing him. Oops.
030. Last person you texted? Brianna.
031. Last person you watched a movie with? Other than myself? Men In Black (and 2) with Ariane... though, indirectly, as I watched it here while she watched it where she lives and we commented on the lines. XD
032. Last food you ate? Hamburger from Wendy's. And it made me sick. Kerrin's gonna hear it tomorrow.
033. Last movie you watched? Men In Black 2.
034. Last song you listened to? According to WMP... All The Same, by Sick Puppies.
035. Last thing you bought? Dunno... I think it was lunch last Thursday.
036. Last person you hugged? Aunt Diane before she left.

FAVES:
037. Food? Spaghetti. Or ice cream. Or Doritos.
038. Drinks? Milkchakes/Chocolate milk. And orange soda.
039. Clothing? Uh... I'm fine with a T-shirt and jeans, really.
040. Book? Harry Potter series, Ender's Game and that series, most of Stephen King, with Carrie being the standout.
041. Music? *Totally copied from Myspace due to laziness* Nightwish, Evanescence, Within Temptation, Bon Jovi, Queen, Inxs, Foreigner, Avril Lavigne, Pink Floyd, Nickelback, Heart, Rush, Cher, Journey, Loverboy, Aerosmith, Fleetwood Mac, Yellowcard, Alkaline Trio, REM, Sherwood, Cheap Trick, Elton John, Genesis, Billy Idol, Lifehouse, Blue Oyster Cult, Seether, Paramore, Flyleaf, Rise Against, .38 Special, Van Halen, Dragonforce, Papa Roach, Gin Blossoms, Breaking Benjamin... and that's only about half.
042. Flower? Not big on flowers.
043. Colors? Blues, purples, and greens.
044. Movies? The Brave Little Toaster. <3 Among others, of course. TV is really all I do.
045. Shoes? Don't really care
046. Subjects? Uh... psychology was cool... and I rather liked my ghost stories class.

IN THE PAST YEAR I . . . :
047. [N] kissed in the snow (but one day, I will.)
048. [Y] celebrated Halloween
049. [Y] had your heart broken (Daily.)
050. [N] went over the minutes on your cell phone
051. [Y] someone questioned your sexual orientation (Sorry Jake.)
052. [N] came out of the closet (Literally, yes. Figuratively, no.)
053. [N] gotten pregnant (Oh lord, I hope not.)
054. [N] had an abortion
055. [Y] done something you've regretted
056. [Y] broke a promise
057. [Y] hid a secret
058. [Y] pretended to be happy
059. [N] met someone who changed your life
060. [N] pretended to be sick
061. [N] left the country
062. [Y] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it (Some sort of chocolate coffee frapochino thinger. Still not really my taste, but its drinkable.)
063. [Y] cried over the silliest thing
064. [N] ran a mile
065. [N] went to the beach with your best friend (Again, some day.)
066. [N] stayed single the whole year (Lets go back to summer.)

CURRENTLY:
067. Eating? Nothing. Though, I am hungry again...
068. Drinking? Pepsi
069. I'm about to? Well, I was going to use these next 3 hours to catch up on the Oceanography quizzes that I haven't started, but of course, the school website is down, so I'll probably sleep till 6.
070. Listening to? Infomercials on the TV guide channel.
071. Plans for today/tomorrow? Sleep. Fail finals. Wish I was somewhere else. Sleep.
072. Waiting for? A certain someone to turn 18 so I can tell her mom to choke on a pickle. Oh, and a reply to one of my job applications so I can afford to see said person.

YOUR FUTURE:
073. Want kids? Not on my own.
074. Want to get married? Would be nice...
075. Careers in mind? No idea. Leaning toward psychology, but some other thoughts that crossed my mind were some sort of video game programmer or perhaps a writer or some kind. Not that I've actually completed anything besides the joke story here and that one song...

WHICH IS BETTER ON A BOY/GIRL?
076. Lips or eyes? Eyes. As long as the lips work, then meh. Eyes are more... I dunno, attractive?
078. Romantic or spontaneous? Either. I've had a taste of both.
079. Nice stomach or nice arms? Either/or.
080. Sensitive or loud? Loud might be nice to balance me, though I would prefer if they had a sensitive side as well.
081. Hookup or relationship? Relationship... I've proven twice that I don't deal with breakups well. Next one better be permanent, or I give up.
082. Troublemaker or hesitant? Um... Would prefer not a troublemaker, but on the other hand, I don't want them to be hesitant because I'm terrible at the leader role. I dunno. At least a troublemaker would keep things interesting, provided nothing goes over the line.

HAVE YOU EVER:
083. Lost glasses/contacts? Fora short time.. I had to use my sunglasses all day that day. Got some pretty interesting results. I don't think Sarah liked me to begin with, she made a big deal out of it. <3 Mr. Hanson, who was like "so what?". Didn't even know that I needed them, just didn't care. Any other teacher would be like "use normal glasses, blablabla" and now I'm ranting.
084. Ran away from home? Tried. Still wish I could, more than ever.
085. Held a gun/knife for self defense? Don't put me in that position. I'm a coward, and if I have a weapon and feel threatened, I WILL use it, no matter what you might think of me now.
086. Killed somebody? Uh... on Tibia, yes. XD
087. Broken someone's heart? I hope not... I can never tell.
088. Been arrested? Nope
089. Cried when someone died? Uhm... my first dog, if she counts. I don't recall ever crying over a person, though that doesn't mean I wasn't just as upset. I cry over stupid things, not serious ones.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
090. Yourself? No reason to. That came out more emo-sounding than intended... O_o; <- *Agrees with Rin*
091. Miracles? Yeah. I've had two. Now if only I could just get one more... I wouldn't need any more, then.
092. Love at first sight? Yes. Don't care what anyone else thinks, it happened to me, so I know its possible.
093. Heaven? My religious beliefs are... vauge, at best. I believe that there is a heaven, though I'm not sure I believe everything that goes with it.
094. Santa Claus? Why not.
095. Sex on the first date? For me, no. But hey, if you've known the person long enough before the first date, and you really, really love them, why not.
096. Kiss on the first date? Uh... see above. Except that I might, depending on how comfortable I am with said person.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? Mhm.
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? Hell no.
099. Do you believe in God? Similar to the heaven thing. I believe so, though less and less lately, the further this mess called my life progresses.
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people. ....Or I could not and say I did. Why is #100 always this, and not an actual question?

Well, I killed an hour since I started this. Whee. Might as well try to sleep now.

People keep telling me that I shouldn't bottle up my feelings, so here you go.

I was just laying in bed, thinking about school tomorrow. I remember back when I was just starting college, and how it seemed like a fun, new experience. Now, however, when I'm up late trying to talk with some friends and have to cut it short because I notice that the clock says 2 am, I groan at the thought of having to be up in 4 hours for a days worth of classes. No longer is it something exciting, it's high school all over again: sitting in a classroom, barely able to focus, let alone understand, what I'm being told, only this time, I don't have any friends with me, just my drug-ridden sister who has just as little motivation for class as me for company, except that this time, I'm paying for this waste of time with my own money (or rather, financial aid, which will probably end up being like 5x what I should be paying in the long run). All throughout senior year in high school, each teacher I had had said at one point or another "college isn't for everyone". I'm only in community college, not even a university or anything, and already I'm beginning to feel that I'm one of those people who just can't handle it, the reading, the papers, anything. It doesn't help that just about everywhere I go, people are also saying that I won't get anywhere in life without a college diploma these days. I don't even know what the fuck I want to do with my life, if anything anymore, so here I am struggling to keep my slipping grades above a passing mark while trying to find some possible reason for doing so.

So mom came to me today and told me that I need to get a job. Nothing new there. However, she also added that if I don't have one soon, I won't be able to live with her anymore. See, my parents are getting divorced on top of everything else, and we're going to be losing this house. I don't know when, but it's going to be soon. And mom will have to move into an apartment with Brianna, who knows if it will be here or back in NY or in fucking Alaska. God only knows how she'll be able to support just her and Brianna, nevermind Kerrin and I as well, because we're so far in debt that any money she might make from any job she gets would go to credit card companies or whatever. So basically, I have to get a job to support myself, and I have a dark feeling that Kerrin and I will both have to sacrifice part of our earnings for them as well.

Then we'll add to this my own personal feelings and emotions, and the crushing loneliness that's been enveloping me all month. I had to turn down an invitation a week ago from Burgess to go to the movies because I simply could not pay for it. I don't even think I replied to his texts because I was so upset with everything going on.

Back when I was dating Chii, she told me that one thing she had a problem with was that I didn't seem motivated to make something of myself. Well, here's the reason for that. I'm so overwhelmed by failure and hopelessness that I quite honestly can not possibly see how we're going to make it through this. It's been nothing but downhill for the last 9 years. I've tried by hardest to keep up the facade that everything is fine, that there's nothing to worry about. Here is the truth. I have broken, only just holding on by the thinnest of threads. And only now, when I'm laying awake dreading the sound of the alarm in three hours, do I feel need to let it all out. Probably because it's simply impossible for me to mentally restrain it anymore.

Yus. I am back from my two weeks absence. Really tired, and got a lot to catch up on, so I'll post more about the trip tomorrow (if I remember). So yeah, if anyone's bored, I'm desperate to see people...

So... for anyone who doesn't know, I'll be spending two weeks at my grandparents' in NY. I leave tomorrow (Sunday) at about 2. I'll be back in Fl on July 26th. I will have my laptop with me, so I may get on, but if I do, it likely won't be often. Anyways.... now I'm off to pack.

'Cause XMalisX ordered me to. D:

Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle.
Say the following questions aloud, and press play.
Use the song titles that come up to answer each question.
DON'T CHEAT.
Tag 5 people when you're done!

How does the world see me?:
High on You - Survivor
Oh, we're starting this off real well. XD

Will I have a happy life?:
Rainbow in the Dark - Dio
I guess not.

What do people really think of me?:
The One I Love - R.E.M.
I lol'd.

Do people secretly lust after me?:
Field of Innocence - Evanescence
Er... that could be interpreted as a yes? Sorta? ...

How can I make myself happy?:
Bye Bye Beautiful - Nightwish
Oh. My. #^$@#. That's ironic and not a single person on here would understand why. (No Chii, it's not referring to you. <33 )

What should I do with my life?:
Things I'll Never Say - Avril Lavigne
....Um?

Will I ever have children?:
View from Heaven - Yellowcard
I'll leave her answer: I take it that's a "no."

What is some good advice for me?:
Foolin' - Def Leppard
I suppose so. XD

What do I think my current theme song is?:
Nothin' At All - Heart
Um... no, not really.

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?:
Hand of Sorrow - Within Temptation
L-O-L!!

What song will play at my funeral?:
Boys of Summer - Don Henley
Um... okay.

What type of men/women do you like?:
Away From Me - Evanescence
All I can think of is Marik. XD

What is my day going to be like?:
Deathbed - Alkaline Trio
Well doesn't that sound pleasant...?

Why am I here?:
I Just Died In Your Arms - Cutting Crew
That's rather sad...

What will people remember me for?:
Everybody's Fool - Evanescence
No joke. This seriously is what came on. XD

What song will I get stuck in my head tomorrow?:
If Looks Could Kill - Heart
Interesting...

Are there people outside waiting to take me away?:
Sk8er Boi - Avril Lavigne
Is that a yes...?

What will this year be all about?:
I Must Be Dreaming - Evanescence
Ok, that's just creepy.


Randomly got a lot of Evanescence in there. And even some doubles. I have more variety than this, I swear!