After reading short fics like this one at TCoD, I thought it looked fun and decided to make my own.  However, since I set this challenge to myself rather than have someone else set it to me, I was 20 phrases too short.  So I made a thread in the forums asking for some.  I chose a few (well, 20, but whatever), added a few hours time, and this is the result.  It was actually a lot harder than I expected it to be... maybe it's because I got phrases from different people, maybe it's because I've never written in this form before, or maybe it's because I wrote it between the hours of 2-5 in the morning... I don't know.  Anyway, be warned... it may be funny, and it may be stupid.  I'm not sure which sums it up better.  Decide for yourself.

I gave credit to the forum user who suggested each phrase by putting their name at the end of the phrases they gave.  I'd like to thank each of them for helping me with this.  I'm also going to thank Dannichu, and you'll see why later.

Phrases:

1. Where are me gold nuggets? ~Scizor
2. I can't put that in a fic! ~Scizor
3. Never mention Blast Burn again, you fool. ~Flazeah
4. The pickles... they LIE. ~Crystylla
5. How is that even possible? ~Crystylla
6. WHO'S HAND IS THAT, HMM?!?!??! ~LynxRunner
7. There is no spleen. ~LynxRunner
8. Aww... no shocky for me. ~LynxRunner
9. I just saved money on car insurance by- ~LynxRunner
10. There's a monkey stuck in my SKULL! Getitoffgetitoffgetitoff! ~Snow Charizard
11. Sadly, he was never heard of again...except for that book he published. ~Desu
12. "IT'S A COOKBOOK, IT'S A COOKBOOK!" ~Desu
13. We all LIKE the skittles, okay? We will NOT square dance on them again! ~Princess Darknight II
14. No, don't crash the pot! The pots can kill! ~Princess Darknight II
15. I am all of me, except when a fairy magicly enchants me into soap. Then, I'm not so sure... ~Princess Darknight II
16. BUY THE MINTY FRESHNESS! ~Princess Darknight II
17. When does the train carrying extraterrestrial viruses arrive? ~opaltiger
18. What do you mean you didn't know? Pickles always attack in pairs! ~Cheetah Inferno
19. Bo-bo-bo-bo bo-bo-bobo-bo-bobo-bo-bo.... ~Dinru
20. Boo-ya! ~Dinru

<center><h2>Cooking in the Jungle</h2></center>

(A Pikachu, a Chikorita, a Squirtle, a Vulpix, a Torchic, a Duskull and a Kecleon have been exploring a forest for a few hours.  Forgetting supplies, they are becoming hungry and restless.  Before any complaining, a Beedrill flies up to them.)

Squirtle: Hey look! A native! Someone ask him if he has food.

Chikorita: Why don't you do it yourself? You're the one who forgot ours.

Pikachu: It doesn't matter who talks to him, someone just do it already.

Vulpix: Fine, I'll talk to him.

Duskull: NO! Beedrill are evil. Don't you remember Steve the Snorlax?

Pikachu: Who??

Duskull: He was the bravest Snorlax to ever explore these woods.  One day, he went in to search for a mystical cookbook.  Some time during his adventure, he met up with a Beedrill.  No one knows what happened that day, but sadly, he was never heard of again...except for that book he published.

Torchic: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Kecleon: I can think of worse.  Remember the time-

Squirtle: DON'T go there again.

Beedrill: (who has been floating here the entire time) Leave this place. Leave or suffer.

Chikorita: Hey, Beedrill, do you have any food? We're starving!

Beedrill: I have pickles.

Vulpix: Pickles, yum! May we have some? (Random pickle falls in front of Vulpix)

Pickle: Eat me. Eeeaatt meeeee.

Vulpix: Alright! (Vulpix takes a bite out of the pickle.) Gross! It tastes like a Muk! (Vulpix spits out the half pickle in it's mouth. Both pickles opened two bright yellow eyes that weren't there before.  No one takes any notice.)

Pikachu: And you know what Muk tastes like... how?

Pickle 1: You, floating head.  (Duskull looks over... with it's one eye.  Both pickles then jump at Duskull and get stuck in it's eye sockets.)

Duskull: The pickles are attacking!! Ow, my eye stings.  Oh yeah, and the pickles are attacking!

Kecleon: How is that even possible?

Chikorita: Why didn't you move out of the way, you idiot! (Chikorita extends two vines and tries to pull the pickles out of Duskull's eye sockets.)

Duskull: I didn't know they were going to jump at me!

Pikachu: What do you mean you didn't know? Pickles always attack in pairs!

Pickle 2: (Successfully removed from Duskull's eye sockets and now tied to Pickle 1 by Chikorita.)Don't worry, we won't hurt you.

Squirtle: How can we trust you now?

Duskull: The pickles... they LIE.  THEY LIE I TELL YOU!

Beedrill: I changed my mind.  I want my pickles back! (Beedrill dives down and swallows both Pickles.)

Torchic: Hey! Those were ours!

Beedrill: Mmmmm! Chicken! (Beedrill dives at Torchic.)

Kecleon: Torchic, fight him! Use Blast Burn!

Chikorita: Never mention Blast Burn again, you fool.

Vulpix: I thought only Charizard could learn Blast Burn.

Chikorita: Didn't I JUST tell you never to-

Random Cyndaquil: My family can use it also, thanks to Gale of Darkness!

Torchic: (being chased by Beedrill) I hate to break up your completely pointless conversation, but... I'M ABOUT TO BE EATEN!

Pikachu: How can Beedrill eat you? He doesn't have a mouth.

Squirtle: He managed to eat those pickles, didn't he? (Duskull screams in the background: Not the pickles!!)

Random echo: Did somebody say Pickles?

Pikachu: Oh no... that sounds an aweful lot like...

Kadabra: Where are the pickles? (Starts chewing on his spoon)

Chikorita: Hey, how'd you know what Kadabra sounded like? You've only read about it!

Kecleon: I didn't know you could read.

Torchic: Kadabra, can you help get us away from this Beedrill?

Kadabra: Where are me gold nuggets?

Torchic: (shoots Kadabra with an ember attack)

Duskull: You can teleport, can't you? Get us all out of here!

Kadabra: Eight to beam up captain! (Torchic, Chikorita, Pikachu, Squirtle, Vulpix, Kecleon, Duskull, and Kadabra vanish in a flash of light)

(The Pokémon reappear in another part of the forest.)

Torchic: Kadabra! You did it!

Kadabra: Bo-bo-bo-bo bo-bo-bobo-bo-bobo-bo-bo.... boo-ya!

Chikorita: Is it legal to use two phrases in one sentence?

Shadow Serenity: No one said I couldn't.

Kecleon: What are you doing here?

Shadow Serenity: Well, none of you knew the answer, so I answered it for you.

Torchic: How do you know none of us knew the answer?

Shadow Serenity: I'm the author! If I wanted you to know, you would've.  (vanishes)

(Squirtle and Pikachu begin to dance happily, despite the fact that Kadabra didn't get them out of the forest.)

Kadabra: No! (Squirtle and Pikachu look at Kadabra.) We all LIKE the skittles, okay? We will NOT square dance on them again!

Chikorita: Look! Over there! I see a book!

Duskull: I'll to check it out.  (Duskull floats over to the book.  He tries to pick it up, but he's a ghost.  His... er, 'hands' go right through the book.  He continues to try.) Why... can't... I... pick... it... up... GAH! (An Aipom falls out of the tree the book is laying under and lands on top of Duskull.  I don't know why Duskull is solid when Aipom lands on him, but not when he tries to lift the book.)</p

Duskull: There's a monkey stuck in my SKULL! Getitoffgetitoffgetitoff!

Vulpix: I'll go get it. (Vulpix walks over to the book and looks down at it.)

Vulpix: IT'S A COOKBOOK, IT'S A COOKBOOK! (She picks it up in her mouth and, ignoring Duskull's constant cries of 'Getitoffgetitoffgetitoff', she brings the book to Pikachu, who can actually hold it, and apparently, can also read. o.O)

Pikachu: Well, there's good news and there's bad news.

Torchic: Give us the bad news first.

Pikachu: Alright... the book is empty.

Squirtle: *sigh* So that's the 'legendary cookbook'?? That's depressing... anyway... the good news?

Pikachu: I just saved money on my car insurance by-

Shadow Serenity: I can't put that in a fic!

Kecleon: Where'd you come from again?

Pikachu: Why not?

Shadow Serenity: It's legal... real world stuff.  It's the trademark of this - the Geiko gecko.

Pikachu: That's a Treecko.

Shadow Serenity: Erm... just continue dancing on your skittles.  (runs behind a tree and is gone)

Pikachu: Oookay then.  Anyways... we found the useless book... so how to we get out of here?

Duskull: (now Aipom-less; looking up at the moon visible through the treetops) When does the train carrying extraterrestrial viruses arrive?

Torchic: What? We're in a jungle! There are no trains here! That Aipom must've messed with your brain.

Vulpix: WHO'S HAND IS THAT, HMM?!?!??!

Torchic: What are you talking about? Have you all lost your minds??

Pikachu: (pointing) No, Vulpix is right.  There's a hand, right by that tree.  But... there is no spleen.

Chikorita: (backing away slowly; Pikachu looks over at her) I got hungry, okay?

Squirtle: Gross.

Kecleon: That looks like Kadabra's hand! (Kadabra appears next to Kecleon, missing a hand.  Kecleon sees this, and screams.)

Duskull: (coming back to er... 'reality') Where's the rest of you?

Kadabra: I am all of me, except when a fairy magicly enchants me into soap. Then, I'm not so sure...

Chikorita: Are you ever sure of anything?

(Everyone stared at the Kadabra for a second, while it floated a few inches off the ground.)

Pikachu: (Shoots Kadabra with a Thunderbolt; painful crackling sounds can be heard)

Vulpix: Aww... no shocky for me.

Pikachu: Don't give me a reason.

Torchic: Pikachu! You just fried our only hope of getting out of this forest!

Squirtle: I can fix that! (Squirtle sprays the unconscious Kadabra in the face with Water Gun. Kadabra springs to life)

Kadabra: (An apple appears in Kadabra's hand.  Kadabra puts it in the spoon in his other hand and begins to balance it.)

Chikorita: You useless... hey, food! (Chikorita grabs the apple and swallows it whole.)

Kadabra: M... my... my pet... You will pay! Setting phaser from stun to kill! (Kadabra points it's spoon at Chikorita.) KYAAH! (A multicolored beam of psychic-ness enveloped the group of small Pokémon.  In a flash of light, everyone was gone.)

Torchic: Ow.. my head... where are we?

Pikachu: Looks like a kitchen... with a jungle theme.  There's got to be food here!

Kadabra: (wearing a chef's hat and sturring a thick, gooey red substance in a pot with his spoon, the blank cookbook floating in front of him; he tastes a spoonful of the goo) Hmm... needs more lettuce.

Squirtle: Maybe we can just walk quietly out, and he'll never know...

Duskull: He has food!! I'm not going anywhere.

Vulpix: Yeah, maybe it's good.  Plus, we haven't eaten in hours.

Kadabra: (without looking up from the pot; he adds an entire bottle of a blueish substance.) Pay me.  With gold nuggets.  Then you will get some special soup. (He then reaches out and throws the cookbook itself into the pot.)

Kecleon: Pay you? When we can get free food somewhere else?

Pikachu: Besides... what was that you just put into it?

Kadabra: Mouthwash.  (Kadabra reaches up and pulls an Exeggcute out of nowhere.  He then tosses it into the soup.)

Each individual Exeggcute head: We're melting, we're melting!

Squirtle: That's it, I'm outta here.

Kadabra: (in a loud roar) BUY THE MINTY FRESHNESS!

Squirtle: On second thought, Mouthwash soup sounds excellent! ^_^;

Torchic: We can't eat any anyway.  We have no gold nuggets to pay him with.

Kadabra: You WILL eat.  Or you go nowhere.  (The doors in the room vanish, leaving solid rock in their place.)

Chikorita: How do we get out of here now?

Duskull: I've got it! Make as much noise as possible! Someone's bound to hear it and come save us!

Squirtle: Works for me. (Squirtle jumps onto a table and starts kicking off all the pots and bottles and other assorted items you'd find in a kitchen.)

Kadabra: (changing personalities immediately) No, don't crash the pot! The pots can kill!

Pikachu: Ha! You aren't going to scare us anymore, you psycho! (Pikachu and Kecleon run over to the pot of goo Kadabra is now boiling and knock it over.  Strangely, the contents don't spill out.)

Kadabra: You have been warned.

(The pot flips itself back over and begins walking on the four little legs that were built into it to that it could stand properly without spilling.)

Torchic: Aaah! Kadabra was right! (Torchic runs around in circles, screaming.) WE ARE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!

(The other pots on the room spring to life as the goo-filled one walks passed.  An army of 5 pots now stood between the terrified Pokémon and the hole in the wall created by one of the pots.)

Pots: (chanting in unison as they walk step by step) Kill. Kill. Kill.

Kecleon: Torchic, get rid of them! Blast Burn!

Torchic: WHAT in the name of Mew were you DOING earlier??

Kecleon: I was busy thinking about what it would look like to see a Beedrill eating you, remember?

(The Pokémon backed into a wall; there was no where left for them to go, and the pots were advancing.)

Chikorita: Any ideas?

Vulpix: Attack the pots?  (Vulpix shoots the lead pot with a Flamethrower; the pot explodes.)

********

(All the Pokémon jump up, screaming, inside a Pokémon Center.)

Squirtle: What... where... it was a dream?

Torchic: Ripoff! I didn't get to see if we survived!

Kadabra: (staring deeply into his spoon) What is the meaning of life anyway?

Pikachu: I WISH I was dreaming...

********

And well, there it is.  Yeah, I kinda butchered it a bit, but hey, it was for fun and I still had fun writing it.  Also, thanks goes to Dannichu, for letting me borrow her insane Kadabra.  It made this a lot easier.  Although I can't help but think I relied on him a little too much... Anyway, criticize away.